Support, expression and other strategies can help individuals cope with grief and emotional distress this holiday season.The holiday season is often filled with joy and celebration. But for those navigating loss, it can create feelings of sadness and be a reminder of what is missing.

Brenda Mayfield, DNP, assistant professor at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Nursing, shares insight from her clinical experience supporting patients navigating the emotional challenges of grief.

“Grief is not a problem to fix but a story to honor,” Mayfield said. “During the holidays, that story might feel heavier. But within it, there is love, memory and resilience.”

Nonlinear path

Grief is recurring, unique to each person, and can manifest physically through fatigue, insomnia, appetite changes, irritability or social withdrawal, according to Mayfield.

“I have heard the quiet confessions of patients who say, ‘I dread the holidays now,’ ‘I feel guilty for laughing and feeling joy or being excited,’ and ‘I just want to skip all of it,’” Mayfield said. “I understand that feeling when it seems a part of your heart is missing and how deeply that absence is felt.”

Mayfield says healing does not adhere to a predictable timeline.

“Some wounds fade slowly, some more quickly, and others remain tender for years. All of these are OK,” Mayfield said. “Sometimes healing feels like two steps forward and one step back. That is not regression; it’s part of the reality of grief.”

Recognizing that these emotions are part of the grieving process can help normalize the experience and reduce the stigma and shame that sometimes accompany loss.

Strategies to help

People can learn to carry and adapt to grief. Shifting the perspective in this way can be freeing for those experiencing loss. Mayfield shared several evidence-based strategies that can help.

• Expressing emotions: Journaling, creating art or talking with someone supportive can help externalize pain and reduce ruminating thoughts.
• Practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques: This lowers anxiety and promotes emotional regulation.
• Maintaining routines: Daily structure provides stability when emotions feel overwhelming.
• Seeking social support: Grief groups, family or friends can offer comfort and reassurance.
• Practicing self-compassion: Individuals should treat themselves with kindness when navigating loss.

Recognizing complicated grief

Complicated or prolonged grief is marked by emotional pain and functional impairments lasting beyond 12 months.

“When grief becomes complicated or prolonged, seeking help from a mental health professional is essential,” Mayfield said.

Several treatments, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, complicated grief therapy or trauma-informed approaches, can be highly effective, according to Mayfield. Early intervention is critical as untreated complex grief can increase the risk of depression, substance use and suicidal thoughts.

Honoring loved ones

According to Mayfield, one of the most healing practices during the holidays is finding ways to honor loved ones while embracing conflicting emotions.

“My patients have shared meaningful rituals like lighting a candle in memory of a loved one, preparing their favorite meal, sharing stories and photos, volunteering, or writing letters to those who have passed,” Mayfield said. “These acts do not erase grief but transform it into connection, allowing both remembrance and celebration to coexist.”

Mayfield emphasized that compassionate care and emotional support can impact those coping with loss, and that grief is a shared human experience that can foster connection and understanding.